


Aloha

by veronicasanders



Series: Undone [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicasanders/pseuds/veronicasanders
Summary: Courtney and Bianca spend Christmas in Maui, discovering their new favorite spot. (Set before the main story ends, while Bianca is still pregnant with Ruby.)
Relationships: Bianca Del Rio/Shane Jenek | Courtney Act
Series: Undone [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003647
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Aloha

**Author's Note:**

> Discussion of past emotional abuse, trauma, and physical violence. (Side note: I know I said that these sequels would be fluffy, and they mostly are, but this is set before the end of the main story, so uh...we still got some major issues to work out.)

Bianca is exhausted by the time they wrap on season two of Silver Screens. She’s already embroiled in litigation with Jared’s family over exactly what’s happening with, not only his money, but their joint property. She’s considered giving up, just letting them win so that she can walk away, but ultimately, none of it is for her. Every time she looks down at her growing belly, she remembers who she’s fighting for, and it fuels her anger and her determination. 

However, it’s draining. And she’s now almost six months pregnant, and the idea of flying to New Orleans for the holidays just sounds horrible. She knows that her family means well, but the constant checking up, the absolutely nonstop advice and questions, make it all worse. 

After confiding all of these concerns to Bob, her therapist makes another suggestion: why not go somewhere else? A real vacation, just her and Courtney, somewhere they can truly get away from everything stressful and take some time for themselves? 

She’s still not sure, but then she mentions the idea to Courtney, who is 200% on board, and by the end of the week, they’ve got flights to Maui, a hotel booked, and two weeks of pure, blissful lazing around time. Which all sounds wonderful in theory, but Bianca can’t help feeling a bit guilty about ditching her family. 

However, the second her feet hit that white, powdery sand, she sighs in relief, turning to Courtney with a dimpled grin. 

“Okay, you and Bob were right. Coming here was the right decision.” 

Courtney leans forward to brush a gentle kiss against her lips. 

“I suppose you don’t wanna race to the water,” she murmurs. 

“I’ll race you when I’m not the size of a goddamn whale,” Bianca says, and Courtney giggles softly against her neck.

“Don’t even start, you know you’re perfect…” 

A gentle tug pulls Bianca towards the ocean, which is warm and calm and as the waves lap against Bianca’s thighs, she starts to feel perfectly at ease. 

“God, it’s beautiful…” Bianca sighs, staring out at the sparkling water. 

“Sure is,” Courtney says, only she’s not looking at the scenery. Her eyes are fixated on Bianca’s face, watching her with a dreamy expression as a cool breeze blows her hair around. 

Bianca tightens her grip on Courtney’s hand, trying to tell her without words how grateful she is, how lucky she feels. And Courtney seems to understand, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her waist. 

“Aloha…” she sings softly, and Bianca shakes her head, the smile on her face feeling permanent by now. 

“Aloha yourself, cheeseball.” 

***

Later, laying on a towel in the warm sand, Bianca sighs happily. She hasn’t been this relaxed in ages. Years, maybe. And the best part is that she has Courtney by her side, face tilted to the sun. She reaches languidly for her. 

Courtney turns, gazing down at Bianca, and wraps a lock of still-damp dark brown hair around her finger. 

“How are you feeling?” she asks softly, and Bianca smiles. 

“Relieved...that we’re finally here.” 

The past few months have been rough. Sometimes excruciatingly so. Courtney knows that no matter how hard Bianca tried to take things one day at a time, to not get so caught up in worrying about outcomes, that most of the time her mind was racing a mile a minute. 

But now, there’s only the gentle breeze, the sound of rolling waves and the occasional bird, the fragrant air. It’s truly paradise, especially when Courtney’s lips find Bianca’s for a slow kiss, one hand resting on her belly. 

“She’s kicking up a storm today,” Bianca says. “I guess we forgot to tell her that this is the chill zone.”

Courtney giggles, rubbing her belly in slow circles. 

“Maybe she just heard how nice it is and wants to come join us.” 

“You think she gets yelp reviews in there?” Bianca asks. 

“Listen, this new generation is very technologically advanced. You have no idea.” 

“That’s terrifying.” Bianca pulls Courtney in for another kiss, the baby kicking again. 

“Wow, Dame Edna Del Rio really likes it here,” Courtney giggles. 

“We both do. Thank you for suggesting this,” Bianca says, thumb stroking Courtney’s cheek lightly. 

“All I want is for you to be happy…” Courtney tells her, seeking out her pulse point for another kiss that leaves her tingling. 

And in that moment, Bianca is happy. Truly, deliriously happy. 

It can’t last forever though--that feeling of perfect calm. The lovely bubble has to pop sometime. It does, of course, only a little while later, as they’re strolling on the beach hand in hand. 

“I really worry about you sometimes,” Courtney admits, fingers laced with hers. 

“You don’t have to worry.” 

“But you’ve been through so much. You must have so much you need to deal with, and I just want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone.” 

“I don’t want to spend all our time together talking about my stupid trauma,” Bianca says. 

“I get that. But B, it doesn’t have to be all the time. Just sometimes. When you need to-” 

“Can’t we just enjoy the fucking sunset?” Bianca groans. She stops, turning to face the water, watching the golden rays reflecting off the waves. 

“Sure.” Courtney wraps her arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to her neck, letting Bianca lean back into her touch. 

It goes on like that for a few days. Any time Courtney tries to get deep with her, Bianca deftly changes the subject, cajoles her to live in the moment, or simply distracts her with physical affection. After awhile, Courtney catches onto her game. 

They’re snuggled in bed after a long and wonderful day--exploring the island in the morning, followed by a lively Christmas luau. Courtney’s fingers card gently through her hair. Bianca’s face is tucked into her neck, inhaling her, almost sinfully relaxed, when she brings it up again. 

“B…” 

“Mmm?” 

“I’ve been thinking about Jared.” 

Bianca’s eyes pop open, spine going rigid. That’s not the name she wants to hear right now. 

“Do you ever like...miss him?” 

“No.” 

Bianca’s hands slide around Courtney’s waist, pulling her closer. 

“It would be okay if you did, you know-” 

“I know, but I don’t.” 

“Sometimes I feel really guilty. Like maybe if I wasn’t around, you’d have...I don’t know.” Courtney sighed. 

“Stayed with him? Lived happily ever after? Are you fucking nuts?”

“No, of course not, but maybe it wouldn’t have ended in such a terrible way.” 

“You know what would be more fun than this conversation?” Bianca asked, fingers digging into her waist. “You and me, fucking and then getting into that spa shower.” 

“Bianca.” 

“What?” Bianca’s lips have found her pulse point now, nibbling teasingly on her most sensitive spot. 

“Just stop for a second,” Courtney says, wriggling away slightly. “I’m trying to talk to you.” 

“I don’t want to talk about this.” 

“I know, but you never want to talk about it, so-” 

“Why can’t we just have sex instead?” Bianca whines, tugging on Courtney’s shorts. She purses her lips, giving her sexiest bedroom eyes. “I’ll make it worth your while…” 

“Bianca! Stop.” 

“Is this because I’m fat?” 

Courtney rolls her eyes to the ceiling, seems to say a little prayer to herself before replying, “Do not even try that bullshit, you know damn well-” 

“It is! I’m fat and hideous!” Bianca exclaims, hoisting herself off the bed, pacing around the room like a madwoman. 

“B, come on, I’m serious…” 

“So am I! I’m trying to _fuck_ you, but all you want to do is talk, and-” Bianca stops. It’s the cheapest sort of deflection, the kind of game she used to play with Jared. Worse, it was the kind of game Jared used to play with _her_. Gaslighting. 

The only upside, the only thing that prevents her from completely losing it, is that Courtney, for all her softness, is not buying one bit. Bianca suddenly feels as gross and hideous as she’s pretending to, all at once. Tears spilling down her cheeks. 

Courtney waits, letting her have her little tantrum. When she finally returns to the bed, sinking down next to Courtney with her head in her hands, she feels fingers trailing gently up her spine. 

A soft voice whispers, “I would love to know what you’re thinking right now, B. Really.” 

Bianca looks up, her tear-stained cheeks blotchy, eyes red and swollen. She opens her mouth, but it still won’t come. Courtney takes her hands, kisses her fingers, keeps waiting. 

“I’m a terrible person,” Bianca finally says. 

Courtney has a pained expression on her face, like she’s doing everything she can to listen without arguing. She finally settles on, “Why do you think that?” 

“Because I’m _happy_. I really am. And the more time goes by, the happier I am. He’s dead, and all I can think is...I’m fucking free. _We’re_ free. This baby, she never has to know...” 

Tears are falling faster now, blurring her vision. Courtney doesn’t say anything, just holds her for the longest time. When Bianca finally lifts her head, Courtney silently helps her to her feet, tugs her toward the door. 

“Where are we going?” Bianca asks, but follows easily, wiping her eyes. 

They’re both barefoot, walking down the stone path to the beach, powdery soft sand cool in the moonlight. The edge of the sky is still slightly glowing from the recently set sun, streaks of violet and dusty orange, the whole beach calm and beautiful, in that ethereal way where you can’t quite believe it’s real. 

Courtney reaches the edge of the water and sits, helping Bianca down beside her. She stretches out her legs, letting the waves lick gently at her feet, tilting her face towards the sky, the glittering stars just beginning to appear. 

“You’re not a terrible person, Bianca,” she finally says. “You’re just...a person.” 

“And we’re all sinners? Is that it?” 

“No. No, that’s not it at all. You’re a person, with flaws, but those flaws do not include a desire to hurt other people.” 

“But I did.” 

“You were just fighting for your life. Fighting for my life. The fact that we were even in that position--none of it was your fault. You’d worked so, so hard to avoid anything like it. I saw you.” 

“Sometimes I worry that I’m...some kind of sociopath. Because I’m so glad he’s gone, and I...I _can’t_ make myself feel anything different.” The tears are flowing freely down her cheeks again. Sometimes Bianca tries to fathom how she has any tears left about this, after the rivers and oceans she’s already cried. And this from someone who always described herself as ‘not really a big crier.’ Maybe a better description would be ‘generally out of touch with her emotions.’

“Do you think I’d be with you if you were violent? Dangerous?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Look, I’m not saying you’re perfect. Nobody is. But every flaw, every little weird idiosyncrasy...all of that makes you who you are, and who you are…” 

Courtney edges closer, taking Bianca’s chin and tilting it towards her. 

“I love you so fucking much, B. And it’s not because I’m some kind of sadist. It’s because you make me…” Courtney bites her lip, a crease furrowing her brow. 

“Frustrated?” Bianca tries to break the tension, as much as she can with tears still glistening on her cheeks, falling faster than she can wipe them away. 

“No,” Courtney counters. “I mean, yes, sometimes, but also...hopeful. And appreciated. And challenged. And...so fucking happy.” 

“Even tonight?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Even though I brought a whole world of chaos into your life?” 

“Look at where we are.” Courtney gestures to their surroundings. “If you think I would trade away one _second_ of this, of our lives right now, just to avoid some of that chaos, then...you don’t know me very well.” 

Bianca swallows, looking at Courtney’s eyes burning bright in the moonlight, and she knows. She knows it’s true because she feels the same way. But she’s too mentally exhausted to explain how much she needed that reassurance. So instead, she finally just nods. 

“Yeah.” 

Courtney smiles and orders, “Lie back.” 

“What? Why?” 

“We’re gonna make sand angels.” 

“Sand angels are not a thing, Courtney.” 

“Yes they are! They’re a time-honored Australian Christmas tradition, just go with it.” 

Bianca laughs softly, spreading her arms and legs, feeling ridiculous and childish and almost giddy. Not that she stops complaining. 

“We’re too close to the water. They’re just gonna wash away, like, immediately.” 

“Yeah, well…” Courtney gets up, drawing halos over first her own angel, and then Bianca’s, kneeling above her head, giving her an upside-down grin in the process. “That doesn’t mean they weren’t beautiful while they were here.” 

“You’re so deep,” Bianca teases. 

“I know, right? _Sooooore_ deep. You’re very lucky.” 

Bianca laughs, feels something akin to a knot unwinding in her chest, making her feel lighter. Younger. She sits up and spins around, grabbing Courtney’s face and pulling her in for a messy, slightly sandy and very salty kiss. 

“I am.” 


End file.
